One Wee Spark

Some of you have asked about my mom from time to time, and since our story is very public, I like to share occasionally. Stopped by Mom's apartment in the assisted living facility she lives at these days to drop off a few necessities for her. Her apartment continues to remain spacious and sparsely decorated. She spends most of her time in her room, watching TV and tatting or reading. She's given up many other crafts and social activities. I think dementia,  caused by her bipolar disorder, makes social activities hard for her. She can't maintain her focus on so many different people in large groups. She's aware that her memory is going. But dementia means that she forgets things. Like her only child's birthday. Or, it means that she remembers calling me two years ago on my birthday, and well, that is the same as calling me on my birthday this year in her mind. So my birthday came and went unnoticed by Mom. Or so I thought. Tonight, she handed me a neatly wrap...

Forgive me. You've been so kind to follow and read my posts in the past. I've been busy. Not too busy for my readers; I deeply appreciate you. Just busy. But back in the Fall, I was super busy speaking at conferences in Washington State and California, primarily on the effects to the child who grows up in hoarding. It was tough to speak on such a personal topic. I know you understand. I speak all the time. To social workers; to municipal employees and agencies; to mental health providers; to the community-at-large; to magazine, news channel and newspaper reporters. But this Fall, I took on a new stage, literally, at TedxSpokane--'Knowing It Again.' I did it for you. For your friends who don't get it. For your HPs who don't know they need help or understanding. For our children whose generation can do better. Please feel free to share this. As far as I can tell, this is the first TedTalk done specifically on hoarding. This message needs to get o...

Paul Marcarelli, the writer of Clutter, shared with the audience after the world premiere showing in Seattle that he originally had planned to write a film about a home stager breaking into her career. Instead, Marcarelli birthed the first film to focus fully on hoarding disorder (HD) and the effects of living and growing up in a hoarded home. The Bradford family is really no different than most other American families, searching for the next “thing” to make them feel good enough, safe enough, something enough. Carol Kane ( Taxi, Beetlejuice ) takes on the role of Linda Bradford, a mother whose collection-ing is intensified by a traumatic life event, leaving her to raise three children in a home that has everything except enough room to breathe. “You’ll have to take me out of here kicking and screaming!”  Linda warns her adult children after the home is condemned due to the overaccumulation of stuff and the visitors such living has attracted. Faced with ...

It is with great joy and humility that I announce that we are offering another facilitated self-help group in Spokane, Washington for those who struggle with an excessive accumulation of things, clutter, and/or hoarding! Lightening the Load, a ministry of Sheltering Tree Church announces the 2nd Buried In Treasures Workshop! Beginning on Wednesday, 12/12/12 at...you guessed it! 12 Noon! The workshop consists of 15 two-hour sessions, and ends in early May.

When you were a kid, did you ever go into a fun house with all those crazy mirrors? One transformed you from   a petite child of 4'2" into a child the height of an NBA star, yet another made you resemble the figure of the Pillsbury dough boy, and another appeared to give you a perfect hourglass figure. It was fun, but temporary. When you left the immediate area, you were still the same person as you had been before you entered the fun house and glanced into those mirrors. No matter how silly you felt before the mirrors, you could walk away and return to "normal". Or perhaps, if you were like me, with issues about your body, you enjoyed the few moments of "correction" and were sad to see it end and return to the same old, not-quite-what-you'd-hoped-for "me".

I challenge each and every one of you to do this! Just follow the steps below...we can have a voice...for free! 1.  Go to:   http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ Enter your zipcode. 2 . Click on a  provider's name . In my example, I used zipcode 99205, and chose Michael Chessar Counseling Services. This took me to his listing page, where I clicked on the link: "Email us" under contact info. This will open a new page. 3.  Enter your name (If you are concerned about being identified...you can use the standard format from recovery groups--for me, Ceci G). Use of email address and phone number are encouraged, but at your discretion. 4.  I've written this simple script with bit.ly links to the research article and the online table of questions. You can change it if you want: I'm adult child who was raised in a hoarded home. I live in your area, and yet, I feel invisible. Did you know that a research study has been conducted...

This isn't really supposed to be about shameless, self promotion, but I want to make sure that my readers here know about Adult Children of Hoarders Spokane's webpage . It's nothing fancy, but I'm working to add links for local professionals (organizers, counselors, social workers). At this point the group is just me and some empty chairs, but it has afforded me the opportunity to speak to professional groups who might have clients who would benefit from the group. LOGO, Adult Children of Hoarders Spokane Please stop by, check it out, and bookmark it. We continue to meet on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of the month, and will continue to do so until we have no room or I pass on...whichever comes first. Thanks for your support, my fine readers!

To Whom It May Concern: It has come to my attention that many of you have been contacted or seen a patient whose parent is a hoarder. Many of you are treating hoarders although you have not been through the training recommended by the OCD Foundation and the researchers who are treating this. I believe that you are well-meaning. I'm a glass half full kind of gal. Until proven otherwise, I will believe that your intention is to help people. But inadvertently, you are hurting a block of society. When the adult child of a hoarder comes to you and describes the filth and hell that they grew up in, no matter how surprised you are, please do NOT say, "Oh my goodness!" with a look of shock and horror plastered across your face. It is a very difficult thing to show up in someone's office and talk about this family secret. This is exactly what we fear the most--shock and horror.

Admittedly, my desire for a local recovery group for Adult Children of Hoarders is quite selfish. As I continue to work my own recovery, I find it is possible to move forward without a group, but perhaps not ideal. And so, I often reach out to others who are going through the same things as I am via the internet--blogging, forums, social networking, etc. Last night I had a short conversation with another adult child who was having a rough evening. The need to express herself was not out of the ordinary, but she needed someone who could listen, validate her right to have the feelings she was having, and encouraging her to work through them instead of reacting badly. Sigh, I only wish that when I was her age I'd had the same opportunity to connect with someone else who had been there and knew the secret world I was continuing to cut ties to!

I've been preparing for an upcoming presentation before a group of psychiatric nurse practitioners. I was blown away to be asked to make a presentation since my initial contact was simply to let them know that I had started a group, in case they might have a patient who would benefit from a peer-to-peer group. I've been putting my energy into researching and researching and making connections with professionals to verify that I'm not steering them wrong. I feel confident from conversations with professionals in the know, that I know and understand this disorder. But as I tried to take the information in my research and translate it into a one-hour presentation that was "professional", I felt that I was hitting a wall.

Hoarding is a mental illness marked by a lack of insight. That means that the person who suffers with it can't see clearly what is going on in their life and accumulating in their home. This leads me to another lie that binds the family of a hoarder, even years after leaving the home: This mess just isn't that bad. Borrowed from "Sew Paint Create" Oh, I could get really mean and angry about this. This is one of the things that was almost a mantra with my mother before she accepted help two years ago. Her lack of insight into her problem was paired with habituation until three to five foot piles of "stuff" throughout the house seemed "normal".

I've shared before that I battle with depression. It's no surprise to me, really, knowing that my mother has a mental illness that I might be affected too. It's different for me, though. And, cautiously, I've been feeling much better after a tweak with my meds, an addition of some vitamins that I was very deficient in, and careful handling of my routine. But in the last week, I've had a return to the fatigue. I get up, but not without telling God and myself: I don't want to move...breathe...roll over...get up. I just want to stay here and do nothing. God, please help me!

Borrowed from Bookshelf Organization at craftime.com I am preparing to give my first hour long presentation to a group of psychiatric nurse practitioners on hoarding, growing up as a child in the hoard, and what the mission and vision is for the Adult Children of Hoarders recovery group I'm starting here in Spokane. So...I couldn't get a group of pastors or school counselors who aren't so well-versed in matters of mental illness to speak to first? No. Apparently that is not what God has planned.

On Friday morning, I got official word that the second part of Dr. Suzanne Chabaud's research on the effects on Adult Children of Hoarded Homes is live and available online. This is the first time this specific subject has been studied. I count Dr. C as a friend, and I've met the staff of the research project. Each of them is marvelous in their own way. I hope that you will read this letter from Dr. C and then head over to fill out the survey. If you're a COH, please participate. I know just how difficult it can be to revisit the past, but I know that so much good information is going to come from this research!

I keep going back and forth on whether to write this...but I think my fear should be overcome. Plus, I believe that if I can do this, there's a possibility that someone else may benefit from my honesty, no matter how painful.