One Wee Spark

It is with great joy and humility that I announce that we are offering another facilitated self-help group in Spokane, Washington for those who struggle with an excessive accumulation of things, clutter, and/or hoarding! Lightening the Load, a ministry of Sheltering Tree Church announces the 2nd Buried In Treasures Workshop! Beginning on Wednesday, 12/12/12 at...you guessed it! 12 Noon! The workshop consists of 15 two-hour sessions, and ends in early May.

It's been a while since I've posted on here...but I felt like today, I should share this thing I'm in the middle of. It's not a bad thing, per se...but it involves perhaps one of the toughest elements of change--embracing a new perspective about oneself. In other words, I am embracing "the real Ceci G", and becoming comfortable with who she is, further defining what I am not, and looking more realistically at what I can become. It's as if, in some ways, I'm looking at the whole world in a new perspective simply by looking more honestly at me.

Last summer, I had the humbling privilege of meeting with a group of approximately 20 adult "children of hoarders" at the Dante House, with our host, Dr. Suzanne Chabaud . Dr. Chabaud was preparing to open her online survey of adult children from hoarded homes, and this group came together to share commonalities, offer support, and to become empowered to make change for others like us, especially those children who might still be living in a hoarded home. One of my colleagues, Momma B, as I call her, has been writing for years as a way to move through the chaos of her childhood. Her blog is on my list over there <--------. But just recently, her book by the same name, Nice Children Stolen From Car, became available for purchase. http://www.amazon.com/Nice-Children-Stolen-Car-1/dp/1475192630/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337734821&sr=1-1 I strongly encourage you, no! I beg you! to click on the link and purchase Barbara Allen's book. Plus, if you...

"White lies" became a regular and normal part of my childhood. I've heard others tell stories about the elaborate tales of renovation that were built and concocted to keep friends and family away from the family home, the hoard. I was never that creative. I would say something along the lines of the house being a mess, believing that no one would truly suspect the truth--the house was a MESS! It hit me recently that I still have trouble telling the truth in situations where it really doesn't make a difference whether I tell the truth or not. It disturbs me to think that telling a half-truth or painting a beautiful deception is not only easy for me, but that my moral compass does not readily stop me from doing it. Borrowed from Mark Pocan, WI representative, personal blog For instance, I have told a lie about my abilities in gymnastics and tumbling since I was a small child. I'm not sure how the lie first reared its ugly head, but like a zit that is touched...

More than an extra Borrowed from "Asphyxia" on Squidoo dot com For most of my life, I've lived as though I were simply an extra in the film of life. I showed up, I did my part, but I didn't make any decisions, I didn't have a voice of my own, and I sure didn't take (or get) any credit for my role. This is the fate that growing up in a dysfunctional home handed me. For a while. No matter what background I come from, I hold a powerful tool in my hands. It's called choice.

Today, I'm preparing to meet with a member of the local news station to share my personal story of recovery. A friend encouraged me to reach out more to the media to help promote the local group. At first, I balked at the idea. I was afraid the focus would become me, and not the group. I decided to reach out to the local press anyways.

Something I've struggled with for just about as long as I can remember is an ability to dream and plan. For most of my adult life, if you asked me where I wanted to be, what I wanted to achieve in the next five years, I'd look at you with a blank stare. Who me? Borrowed from YourSoulGuidance dot com I have no idea!

The holiday season is almost over, and I hope that each of my readers had a wonderful time with family and friends. I realize, however, that quite possibly, that was not the case, especially regarding our HPs. And so, my motto for the New Year is simply this: "I can't change my HP, but I can change my response to my HP." I will never have to power to fix my mom, make her different, or even bargain with her to lasting change. I can, and have, spent years trying to do these things with no effect. However, the second I set about to change ME , my mother seemed to change to. I can't promise that if you change how you respond to your HP that they will change. However, I can promise that when you turn your energies inward to changing the only person you can effectively make better, you will care less about your HP's neuroses. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not suggesting that you won't care about their mess and their mental health issues, their won...

When you were a kid, did you ever go into a fun house with all those crazy mirrors? One transformed you from   a petite child of 4'2" into a child the height of an NBA star, yet another made you resemble the figure of the Pillsbury dough boy, and another appeared to give you a perfect hourglass figure. It was fun, but temporary. When you left the immediate area, you were still the same person as you had been before you entered the fun house and glanced into those mirrors. No matter how silly you felt before the mirrors, you could walk away and return to "normal". Or perhaps, if you were like me, with issues about your body, you enjoyed the few moments of "correction" and were sad to see it end and return to the same old, not-quite-what-you'd-hoped-for "me".

This isn't really supposed to be about shameless, self promotion, but I want to make sure that my readers here know about Adult Children of Hoarders Spokane's webpage . It's nothing fancy, but I'm working to add links for local professionals (organizers, counselors, social workers). At this point the group is just me and some empty chairs, but it has afforded me the opportunity to speak to professional groups who might have clients who would benefit from the group. LOGO, Adult Children of Hoarders Spokane Please stop by, check it out, and bookmark it. We continue to meet on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of the month, and will continue to do so until we have no room or I pass on...whichever comes first. Thanks for your support, my fine readers!

Healing and change  come not from constant striving, 

Two nights ago, during my quiet time with my Daddy, I read a devotion. The gist of the devotion was this: If I knew Jesus were in the next room praying for me, I would not doubt or be afraid. But regardless of the distance, I know Jesus is praying for me. This really struck me.

I've been reading books for over two years now about facing the ugly truths that are our pasts, acknowledging them, rolling around in the pain and feeling it deeply so as to let it go and move forward. This process really began a lot longer than just two years ago. I began this process the first time nine years ago, back in 2002 when my first marriage was crumbling around me. One of the most hurtful things that came out of my first marriage falling apart was an accusation my ex made: You tell me all the time that you love me, but I don't feel loved.

Being a mom is a funny time. For every lesson I teach my children, they teach or illuminate a point for me. I find this is especially true when it comes to interpersonal relationships and boundaries, big issues in the process of recovery. I was an only child so besides growing up in the dark secret of the hoard, I didn't have the social opportunity with a sibling that my children are blessed with. Last Thursday, on the way to Mid-Week Service, my oldest two were having a bit of an issue communicating. They are only 13 months apart, and the older one has some anxiety about learning to drive. Michael told the older Bekah that at this rate he'd be driving first. Bekah found this statement to be hurtful, but instead of speaking up she began to shut down. 

Admittedly, my desire for a local recovery group for Adult Children of Hoarders is quite selfish. As I continue to work my own recovery, I find it is possible to move forward without a group, but perhaps not ideal. And so, I often reach out to others who are going through the same things as I am via the internet--blogging, forums, social networking, etc. Last night I had a short conversation with another adult child who was having a rough evening. The need to express herself was not out of the ordinary, but she needed someone who could listen, validate her right to have the feelings she was having, and encouraging her to work through them instead of reacting badly. Sigh, I only wish that when I was her age I'd had the same opportunity to connect with someone else who had been there and knew the secret world I was continuing to cut ties to!

Sometimes you need help to write something; sometimes you just need a thought to elaborate on, or something that someone else says will trigger a memory for you. This happens to me all the time. Because I've felt that the "Hoarding Lies and the Truths That Set Us Free" segment has been powerful, I've asked others for help. Today's lie comes from Sara R: I'll clean it up when...

As a child of a hoarder,I dreamed of the day when I would have an opportunity to clean out my parent"s mess. When it came, however, another shock hit. It is very emotionally draining for everyone involved, including any professionals. No matter how much I believed that I was not attached to my mom's items, or that I didn't understand why it's so hard for her to say goodbye to things...I was deeply moved by the process and Mom's emotions. Others' responses may be different from mine; for some it may make you angry, it may make you sad, it may just leave you feeling tired and overwhelmed. At any rate, it will take something from you. But this is not the hard part.

Borrowed from Bookshelf Organization at craftime.com I am preparing to give my first hour long presentation to a group of psychiatric nurse practitioners on hoarding, growing up as a child in the hoard, and what the mission and vision is for the Adult Children of Hoarders recovery group I'm starting here in Spokane. So...I couldn't get a group of pastors or school counselors who aren't so well-versed in matters of mental illness to speak to first? No. Apparently that is not what God has planned.

Tonight was the third meeting of Adult Children of Hoarders Spokane. It was highly successful. Still, I was the only member. How was it successful?

 Please stand by...blogging will resume shortly. Right now, I must put my time and energy toward another GREAT hoarding related endeavor. But rest assured, I will be back. Please don't picture Arnold saying that, okay? Prayers and positive thoughts to all of you!