Hoarding Lies, Pt. Four
Sometimes you need help to write something; sometimes you just need a thought to elaborate on, or something that someone else says will trigger a memory for you. This happens to me all the time. Because I've felt that the "Hoarding Lies and the Truths That Set Us Free" segment has been powerful, I've asked others for help. Today's lie comes from Sara R:
I have very similar issues with the unfinished, or the project put off. Procrastination is dangerous...perhaps more so to the child of a hoarder who lives in a kingdom of grand intentions but lousy follow through. In fact, I believe that one of the reasons I'm not more creative is my fear of the unfinished project.
And like Sara shared, it's not just projects. There is a sense of narcissism in our hoarded parents--the phone call they promise to make, but never do; the gifts they buy "because so-and-so would love this!" and yet never get wrapped or given away. Hoarding is a mental illness, for sure. It's a disengagement between dream and goal. It's safety in things versus people. Well, honestly, that could be a whole new series!
As an adult, long before I started my own personal journey of healing and recovery, I faced trials that left me feeling very out of control. I clung to my faith, believing that if there was any hope, anything worth saving, it would come out of my faith. So I dove into the Word. I am eternally grateful for the time I've spent there, studying to know grace, healing, love, and forgiveness!
Being in the Word allowed meaningful teachings to become imprinted on my heart. When I speak of procrastination and lying, I know that I am not off-base believing that we should strive to accomplish what we say we are going to do. In fact, I have a technique for making sure I will accomplish something that is large enough that I might want to give in or give up on--I tell the world! There's nothing like the encouragement and accountability of someone asking, "Hey, Ceci...how's the presentation/book/vision statement going?"
James, the brother of Jesus, speaks to this issue in chapter five of his epistle:
Now mind you, I fail at this all the time. I am human, but I strive toward living a life above reproach and without blame. If I make a commitment to do something, I want to see it through to completion. Things happen, and sometimes you just can't see something through. But I have found it very helpful to evaluate why I wasn't able to complete a task. Perhaps taking the time, not to beat myself up, but to look at what sidetracked or railroaded me I can avoid making that same kind of mistake in the future.
I think it's very important to underscore the practice of self-grace again. I am not expecting myself to be perfect; I'm simply requiring myself to learn from my mistakes.
PS. I'd love to hear from all of you...what is a hoarding lie you grew up with? Does it still haunt you? Have you overcome it? How? I'm living to know!
.... My HP always said she'd "clean it up when...." She always had some excuse for why she was "behind" (never started) in housework. Something was hurting, or deadlines at work, after the holidays, after retirement... But she'd plunk down with a book or run off to a church function and the mail never got sorted or the floor swept, etc. Now I am honest to a fault. None of this "I'll call you" and then Not to a friend. I have never made a promise to my children I couldn't or didn't keep. I don't bite off more than I can chew, so to speak.
I have very similar issues with the unfinished, or the project put off. Procrastination is dangerous...perhaps more so to the child of a hoarder who lives in a kingdom of grand intentions but lousy follow through. In fact, I believe that one of the reasons I'm not more creative is my fear of the unfinished project.
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| Borrowed from scienceblogs.com |
And like Sara shared, it's not just projects. There is a sense of narcissism in our hoarded parents--the phone call they promise to make, but never do; the gifts they buy "because so-and-so would love this!" and yet never get wrapped or given away. Hoarding is a mental illness, for sure. It's a disengagement between dream and goal. It's safety in things versus people. Well, honestly, that could be a whole new series!
As an adult, long before I started my own personal journey of healing and recovery, I faced trials that left me feeling very out of control. I clung to my faith, believing that if there was any hope, anything worth saving, it would come out of my faith. So I dove into the Word. I am eternally grateful for the time I've spent there, studying to know grace, healing, love, and forgiveness!
Being in the Word allowed meaningful teachings to become imprinted on my heart. When I speak of procrastination and lying, I know that I am not off-base believing that we should strive to accomplish what we say we are going to do. In fact, I have a technique for making sure I will accomplish something that is large enough that I might want to give in or give up on--I tell the world! There's nothing like the encouragement and accountability of someone asking, "Hey, Ceci...how's the presentation/book/vision statement going?"
James, the brother of Jesus, speaks to this issue in chapter five of his epistle:
But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. (v. 12, ESV)Oh yes, that is how I want to live, without falling under condemnation!
Now mind you, I fail at this all the time. I am human, but I strive toward living a life above reproach and without blame. If I make a commitment to do something, I want to see it through to completion. Things happen, and sometimes you just can't see something through. But I have found it very helpful to evaluate why I wasn't able to complete a task. Perhaps taking the time, not to beat myself up, but to look at what sidetracked or railroaded me I can avoid making that same kind of mistake in the future.
I think it's very important to underscore the practice of self-grace again. I am not expecting myself to be perfect; I'm simply requiring myself to learn from my mistakes.
"Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely." ~Auguste RodinAnd that is what recovery is...looking at the lies, calling them for what they are, and then practicing (and failing) as we learn a new, or better, way. Trust me, if I can do it, you can too!
PS. I'd love to hear from all of you...what is a hoarding lie you grew up with? Does it still haunt you? Have you overcome it? How? I'm living to know!
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