Enough Already
Oh, I just realized that you probably thought I was going to be talking about Peter Walsh's show on OWN. *laughs* I'm so sorry, but that's all I am planning to say about that show!
I spend time each day pondering interactions, trying to understand my actions and thoughts, as well as those around me. It's exhausting! But it seems rather ingrained in me, as if I have already spent my whole life doing these things. But my desire to understand myself and others has morphed over the last couple of years. Where at one time I spent all my time second guessing my actions and fearing what others thought of me and if they were offended or angry at me, I now just try to make sense of who I am and how people interact with each other.
Being the deeply self-reflecting person that I am, and trying to really discover and embrace who I am, I have spent many hours working on overcoming the pain from my childhood, and the ripples into adulthood the original pebbles caused to spread out even after I left home. While deeply mired in that process, I began to feel better about myself, and now...
...worse.
One verse keeps coming to mind, and I'm sure it's divine intervention:
All I can think is that God loves me as I am right now. I'm not perfect, I'm far from where I want to be, but I'm more than I once was. And yet, Christ died for me a long time ago...knowing exactly what I would face, where I would stumble, who I would offend, and all the mistakes I would commit. If He loved me that much back then, He loves me that much more as I struggle to become healthy, whole, and more like Him.
We all have bad days. We all have times where we feel like what we've done isn't enough, or that we've done too much. But I am going to keep reminding myself of this verse...
...because in God's eyes, I'm enough already.
So are you.
PS. I apologize for the weird formatting...technical challenges...got to love them. But I want this out there...someone needs to be reminded :)
I spend time each day pondering interactions, trying to understand my actions and thoughts, as well as those around me. It's exhausting! But it seems rather ingrained in me, as if I have already spent my whole life doing these things. But my desire to understand myself and others has morphed over the last couple of years. Where at one time I spent all my time second guessing my actions and fearing what others thought of me and if they were offended or angry at me, I now just try to make sense of who I am and how people interact with each other.
Being the deeply self-reflecting person that I am, and trying to really discover and embrace who I am, I have spent many hours working on overcoming the pain from my childhood, and the ripples into adulthood the original pebbles caused to spread out even after I left home. While deeply mired in that process, I began to feel better about myself, and now...
...worse.
One verse keeps coming to mind, and I'm sure it's divine intervention:
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
All I can think is that God loves me as I am right now. I'm not perfect, I'm far from where I want to be, but I'm more than I once was. And yet, Christ died for me a long time ago...knowing exactly what I would face, where I would stumble, who I would offend, and all the mistakes I would commit. If He loved me that much back then, He loves me that much more as I struggle to become healthy, whole, and more like Him.
We all have bad days. We all have times where we feel like what we've done isn't enough, or that we've done too much. But I am going to keep reminding myself of this verse...
...because in God's eyes, I'm enough already.
So are you.
PS. I apologize for the weird formatting...technical challenges...got to love them. But I want this out there...someone needs to be reminded :)
Comments
Cara
I hope you have a blessed day, Cara!