Not an Old Dog! Still Learning New Tricks!
Growing up, I learned and perfected some really bad ways of interacting with people and the world. I wish I could say that immediately upon leaving home and the craziness of the hoard, I suddenly realized this and poof! I changed these broken ways. But that's not the case. In fact, it's really been just in the last two years that I've taken taken my thoughts captive (II Corinthians 10:5).
It's not an easy process. First I have had to identify a broken habit as just that. For instance--this is really a very simple and silly example, but it's a great place to start--not giving my husband directions every time we go somewhere together and he is driving. This is a control issue.
I realized that I had to go "my way"--not that it was right or wrong (all-or-nothing thinking). It was just my way, and I felt most comfortable when I was in control. There was no underlying issue for my safety. In fact, my husband is a far more conservative driver than I am. It wasn't even an issue of time. I try to live as much of my life without strict time guidelines as possible. It was simply that I needed to be in control.
So I stopped telling him where to turn. At first it was very difficult. I would say nothing, but it was as though I became blind. My mind returned to the same path I had always taken. I grasped the door handle and the belt buckle, white knuckled the whole time. I don't remember exactly how wrong I experienced this, but I know that it wasn't that long before I realized I was seeing the world around me, in new eyes.
When I stopped controlling, sat back, relaxed, and took in the scenery, I saw yards and trees, houses and cliffs that I had never seen before. And these were all within a mile of my home on streets I had driven over and over!
Overcoming a broken practice is an experiment. It often causes anxiety at first. It may be painful even. But in time, the anxiety fades and a new feeling takes up home in your heart--peace. In fact, now I love letting my husband drive because I know I'm going to see something I've missed before. He can't see for me, but he can drive allowing me the freedom to "sight-see" wherever we go.
Need encouragement as you identify a broken way of doing things, and learning a new healthy way?
I can do all this through him who gives me strength!
Father, I cannot even count the broken parts of me that I've given to you, and searched for something better and healthier. I am in awe of your patience with me as I struggle through this journey. I am grateful for your kindness when I don't get it. I am in debt to your love, grace, and forgiveness which allow me to be a child, making mistakes but not facing full consequences for them. Thank you! Please be with all those reading this who have felt the need to learn a better way as they experiment with new scenarios and habits. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
It's not an easy process. First I have had to identify a broken habit as just that. For instance--this is really a very simple and silly example, but it's a great place to start--not giving my husband directions every time we go somewhere together and he is driving. This is a control issue.
I realized that I had to go "my way"--not that it was right or wrong (all-or-nothing thinking). It was just my way, and I felt most comfortable when I was in control. There was no underlying issue for my safety. In fact, my husband is a far more conservative driver than I am. It wasn't even an issue of time. I try to live as much of my life without strict time guidelines as possible. It was simply that I needed to be in control.
So I stopped telling him where to turn. At first it was very difficult. I would say nothing, but it was as though I became blind. My mind returned to the same path I had always taken. I grasped the door handle and the belt buckle, white knuckled the whole time. I don't remember exactly how wrong I experienced this, but I know that it wasn't that long before I realized I was seeing the world around me, in new eyes.
When I stopped controlling, sat back, relaxed, and took in the scenery, I saw yards and trees, houses and cliffs that I had never seen before. And these were all within a mile of my home on streets I had driven over and over!
Overcoming a broken practice is an experiment. It often causes anxiety at first. It may be painful even. But in time, the anxiety fades and a new feeling takes up home in your heart--peace. In fact, now I love letting my husband drive because I know I'm going to see something I've missed before. He can't see for me, but he can drive allowing me the freedom to "sight-see" wherever we go.
Need encouragement as you identify a broken way of doing things, and learning a new healthy way?
I can do all this through him who gives me strength!
Father, I cannot even count the broken parts of me that I've given to you, and searched for something better and healthier. I am in awe of your patience with me as I struggle through this journey. I am grateful for your kindness when I don't get it. I am in debt to your love, grace, and forgiveness which allow me to be a child, making mistakes but not facing full consequences for them. Thank you! Please be with all those reading this who have felt the need to learn a better way as they experiment with new scenarios and habits. In Jesus' name, AMEN.
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