A Memorial

Isaiah 46:4

I have loved to read and write from the time I was very young, reading even before kindergarten. I suppose reading and writing were escapes from a childhood experience that was at times, less than ideal. Writing gave me a voice when I could not find my own. Writing gave me power in a world that made me feel powerless.

This weekend, as I was moving some stuff from storage into our new bedroom, I stumbled upon some writings from my tween and teen years. These are smaller memorials to my mindset and coping during that period of my life. Some of it embarrasses me, most of it I just find humorous. But all of it reminds me of what I have overcome.

Let me correct that last statement.

But all of it reminds me of what God has carried me through!

During my little ones' naptime today, I was taking a journey back through my blog entries here in the last 18 months. I believed for so long that I was writing these to help and encourage others, but today....today I see that these entries are memorials of the path of healing that God has taken me on. They are points to stop, ponder, and let out a sigh of relief knowing that at the time I thought I couldn't make it. But today? Today I am able to look back at the good that has come from each stumble, trip, and fall; from each scar and wounding.

I can look back and wonder at the bravery I must have been showered with from above to face and deal with these events and feelings. I must be a stronger, more beautiful woman than I believe!

And that, that is a memorial worth pondering.

I hope today that you have found a way to chronicle your struggles, a Father who will be stronger than you at every turn, and the ability to look back at the YOU it has shaped.

What will be your memorial?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hoarding--it's not about the STUFF

Since I've become so open with my childhood and the family secret, I am often asked why all the stuff in the house was so bad. It's easy to look at a pile of boxes and bags sliding down atop the boxes filled with craft supplies and books, and not understand why this was so difficult. Very simply, it's not about the STUFF . Research indicates that almost all those who suffer with hoarding compulsions have another issue--mental illness, or brain injury. Hoarding is not THE issue; it's a physically manifested symptom of an internal problem. My take on it is simple. The stuff does one of two things: 1. The grand chaos of things is a reflection of an internal chaos in the brain. Many of our HPs have an inability to sort in a "normal" way. Instead of overgeneralizing things into groups, hoarders have a tendency toward "over-specification" (My word for everything being too unique to actually be the same as something else. I'm sure there is a more profe
Read more

Admitting the Truth, Uncovering the Lie

Image
"White lies" became a regular and normal part of my childhood. I've heard others tell stories about the elaborate tales of renovation that were built and concocted to keep friends and family away from the family home, the hoard. I was never that creative. I would say something along the lines of the house being a mess, believing that no one would truly suspect the truth--the house was a MESS! It hit me recently that I still have trouble telling the truth in situations where it really doesn't make a difference whether I tell the truth or not. It disturbs me to think that telling a half-truth or painting a beautiful deception is not only easy for me, but that my moral compass does not readily stop me from doing it. Borrowed from Mark Pocan, WI representative, personal blog For instance, I have told a lie about my abilities in gymnastics and tumbling since I was a small child. I'm not sure how the lie first reared its ugly head, but like a zit that is touched
Read more

You Failed Me

Image
Way back in the day...and by that, I mean, when I was still a young thing back in high school, I did something kind of stupid. Okay...so I did a lot of things that were REALLY stupid back in the day. I admit that. But this one, well...my stupidity was minor compared to the failure of the authorities.
Read more