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Showing posts from July 17, 2011

A Good Weekend

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Growing up, my weekend usually involved spending most of the day Saturday with my mom and my grandmother at my grandmother's house. I adored Grammy, but at some point, I felt stifled by the routine, the escape to a "normal" home. Honestly, my grandmother was a mild hoarder too. She never let her homes get to a point where things didn't work or people couldn't come in...but she kept things that probably had little or no value "because someday someone might need this."

Nowadays, I struggle with finding balance. I want my children to get to know their grandparents, but I struggle with forcing them to spend time away from their social circles. I know this, and I ask my husband to help me find balance. And he is wonderful to encourage me, or to tell me that I'm off the deep end. I try to always remain open to his input although sometimes I don't like what he says.

It's Friday, and I'm looking forward to a wonderful weekend with a group of pheno…

THURSDAY: AWARENESS DAY--NJ Despres Enterprises

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If you are in the Rhode Island or Southeastern Massachusetts area and dealing with a hoarding parent, or perhaps you are struggling yourself, I want to recommend NJ Despres Enterprises.



I've never met Nicole, but I know that she and her team have a passion for helping those who are overwhelmed by their stuff. This is not a quick, two-day clean out like those featured on "Hoarders", because honestly, most situations do not preclude that kind of handling. The ones that do...well, you've seen those on TV (like my mom's house).

[I want to mention that Nicole has been a part of an episode of "Hoarding:Buried Alive"...in case you're wondering about credibility...]

But the reality is that MOST of those who are affected by cluttering/hoarding are not at that point. Because of shows like "Hoarders" and "Hoarding: Buried Alive" families and individuals have become aware of what is going on in their lives and the lives of their loved ones.

Bel…

I own it therefore I am...

"crafts is a huge deal. Some hoarders do follow through, but rarely do they. the problem with crafts is it creates a quick "good" feeling for a hoarder when they originally do and complete the craft. What tends to happen is eventually, they hoarder gets the mental good feeling by planning and buying the supplies, but no longer need to follow through with the actual act. They think about making a blanket for a niece and how great it will be and how much the family will love them for making the blanket. eventually, the hoarder feels good without ever making the blanket and then the supplies build up because they feel good every time they think about making instead of following through. hope that makes sense.

crafts are VERY dangerous for hoarders." --cluttercleaner, on A&E "Hoarders" forum (Matt Paxton of Clutter Cleaner)

Among the most obvious reasons, I love Matt and his wit! He is often a little more "real" when it comes to dealing with hoa…

How you know you're making progress

After filming "Hoarders" back in October 2009, I found some really raw wounds from my childhood that I had hidden relatively well with band-aids which had now been stripped and left open. I found myself faced with horrible memories that I had almost forgotten, but the events of cleaning out my mother's home and moving her across the country brought them flooding back.

I spent hours all but hyperventilating realizing that I had agreed to move my mother to the same city I was living in after consciously choosing to leave home and staying as far away as possible. Sometimes, when I thought about my decision, it was almost hard to breathe.

I identified the root of my anxiety, and began to work through my brokenness. I call it recovery, although many think recovery is only for those who are addicted. But I was addicted. I was addicted to the broken ways I'd learned growing up, and I continued to make the same choices over and over even though the results were always the same…