Showing posts from April 11, 2010

Setting Boundaries

"Setting Boundaries" is the topic of many discussions I've had with people over the last year. Lots of people ask me how I've come to set boundaries. They want to know if it is easy, how to do it, what to expect in response, etc. It seems, from what I hear, that no one is practicing healthy boundaries and limits in their relationships. If everyone is asking me how I do it and what it's like, it would appear that I'm the only person do this. But I know I'm not.

In every interpersonal relationship, a boundary exists. Some boundaries are healthy, some are lax, and some seem invisible. We "set" boundaries in those relationships where the lines are too lax, too harsh, or invisible. It's easy to think that we don't set them in other relationships, but they are there.

In healthy relationships, a line exists that marks what is safe and acceptable, and what isn't; both parties know where the line is. That's not to say that we don't hav…