Hoarding Lies, pt.Two

On Monday, I wrote about the lie I grew up with in my HP's home: The belief that if I hadn't been born/such a burden, my mother and her home would have been normal. Obviously, this is a major lie, but I believed this with such a deep-rooted passion that it destroyed me internally for years.

There are quite a few lies that are pervasive in the hoarded home. Another biggie:

If I can't do it perfectly and complete it right now, I should wait until I can.

I hate to admit this, but this is one of those lies that I took with me. I battle with it daily. Every single project I undertake is determined by my thought process on finishing it now and doing it perfectly. Even writing, though I find it very cathartic, is sometimes difficult for me to do because I know that I can't sit and write a book in one sitting, and the first draft will be less than perfect.

But I can't do it perfectly, so I'd better wait...

In fact, the root of most clutter is this lie. If I can't do it all right now and perfectly, I'll put it off until I can. Denise Allan, a NAPO-certified organizer out of the Seattle area defines clutter as simply delayed decisions. [Denise is also the only ICD-certified organizer in the Pacific Northwest, btw.] Even in my home, I know this is true. I can sense each time that something gets put down, but not in its proper place that I am simply delaying an action or decision.

I'm much better at this than I used to be. I intentionally take on projects that I know can't be completed right away (for instance, this series of blog entries), but I try to focus on completing something smaller. When I have completed one post, I have been successful. I try to do the same with my home and child-raising. It doesn't all have to be completed as a whole, but I can find small parts to complete.

And this need for perfectionism has a spiritual component in it as well.

In Romans, Paul speaks of this kind of internal struggle--doing things he doesn't want to do (sin), and not doing the good things he wishes to do.

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."-Romans 7:15 NIV

Does this describe perfectionism and clutter to you too??? Although Paul was referring to sin, there is definitely a similarity in his thought process about it and procrastination/clutter/perfectionism. And in reality, I know that perfection is not something that I am capable of. ["...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." -Romans 3:23 NIV]

It makes me wonder...rather HOPE, that when I arrive in Heaven, there will be no clutter. There will be no unfinished projects, no chaos, no hoarding or mental illness. We will be filled with His glory and made whole and complete. I can't wait for that day!

"...But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." --I Peter 3:15 NIV


Wow good post. Thanks Ceci!
I too have to battle this kind of thinking. And you know what, no matter how much care and time and anxiety I put into writing - or anything else - the first go-round is always flawed in some way.

Part of being HUMAN.

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